So says a new poll. Gosh, even I kind of thought he’d come in second or third there. I suppose he could still jump ahead of Huckabee. But really, who in the world thought of this asinine strategy for Giuliani? I mean, seriously, Giuliani’s campaign might be one of the worst planned fiascoes in American political history. But then, how do you plan a campaign for a guy as unlikeable as Giuliani?
Ezra says he can’t decide whether to feel relief at McCain’s rise and Giuliani’s fall, or fear given that McCain is their most electable candidate. Well, I agree McCain is the best they’ve got, but that doesn’t make him very good. I give you exhibit A:
What’s interesting in that clip is McCain saying that he’s just fine with America being in Iraq for a hundred years, so long as none of them are being hurt or injured? What the hell does he think is happening there now?
But kudos to Ezra for coining a new term, "fearlief," which he defines as "the peculiar mixture of hope and terror that leaves you praying for a Mitt Romney surge." Oh, if only.
In fact, the only thing better than that, I think, would be a brokered convention that would let the GOP air out all their dirty laundry on stage in front of millions of Americans. Wouldn’t that be one for the ages? A friend of mine thinks that if Huck can hold on through Super Tuesday and then Romney can make it through the early March contests, then it’s very likely that no candidate will grab a majority, and we’ll get to see a brokered convention. I think it’d go something like this:
Huckabee: Now, I’m not like my fellow candidates. They don’t want to amend the Constitution. They think the founding fathers know more about how to run a nation than the Almighty God. They also don’t think Jesus’ face should be on our currency. I guarantee you, in my first 100 days, I’ll get a Jesus face on every ten dollar bill in this country. You go to buy a carton of milk, open up your wallet — what do ya see? Jesus face.
McCain: Are you kidding me? I have to share a stage with this guy? Seriously, I was in Vietnam for Chrissakes! What the hell is this cheese doodle even talking about? I mean seriously, how much ass do you have to kiss to get the nomination from you people?! I mean, I’ve done it all. I even hugged Bush, didn’t you see that?! I got in there good and deep like I was his long lost son or something! I puckered up for him and every one of your damn religious leaders. And you know what? They all smell like cabbage! So screw you and your damn convention!
Romney: I am Bender. Please insert girder.
